As I sat down to consider updated health goals, a few things became apparent: While my overall purpose and goalremains the same, I have been feeling the need to do a refresh on what my focus should be on.
I feel like I have fallen back onto the conveyor belt of life and have just been going through the motions. Unfortunately, this is my default setting when I feel overwhelmed. I numb out, have a negative outlook, and dissociate. Instead of dealing…I just don’t deal at all. I have been told this is part of my perfectionism problem in that you can’t fail if you don’t try, and trying feels like a lot right now.
I am unsure if my continued lack of energy is due to not fully implementing lifestyle changes or just seasonal depression. And while I wish I was in charge of daylight savings … I am not. So the thing I do have control over is lifestyle changes, and I believe it is time for a shift in focus.
All of this said, here are my updated health goals:
Goal 1: Boundaries. I feel like I have tried to implement boundaries when I am in a reactive state instead of thinking about the present or future. Instead, I’d like to be more proactive and I would like to be more thoughtful in my responses to people, to take in what is happening now, and determine how I can use this information to shape the future I am working towards. I am relearning that boundaries are an invitation for connection not harsh ultimatums.
Goal 2: Back to basics. I have gotten wishy-washy with my routine and have fallen back into some old bad habits (hello revenge bedtime). Backslides are understandable when life gets busy, but I have overused this as an excuse. I need to remind myself that I feel better when I am properly taking care of myself, not just doing the bare minimum. These basics look like: going to bed on time without my phone, packing my lunch the night before, waking up earlier so I don’t feel rushed, and getting more protein in my breakfast. While none of these things are monumental lifestyle changes, they make a difference, and I want these things to be my default setting and something to build upon more.
Goal 3: Look for joy. I have been in a negative mindstate for probably longer than I realize. I am naturally wired to be a pessimistic person and I have been feeling myself fall back into a hypervigilant state, which is absolutely not helping my stress levels. Always looking for something to go wrong with the justification of “I just want to be prepared” is draining me.
I am trying to shift my attitude to have a more positive outlook and to look for joy in the little things. I have been allowing my overwhelm and bad attitude to interfere with everything I do, and this, I believe, costs me more energy in the long run, as opposed to doing everything with a posture of joy. I am by no means saying that I will be singing and laughing while I do dishes or any other mundane task. But I need to shift my focus to the positive and allow for the opportunity to see and experience more. I believe that if you are looking for something you will find it, whether positive or negative. And to put it simply, it sounds so much more fun to look for the good things in life, and I could use some fun!
Goal 4: Be more future-minded. I struggle to plan, envision, and dream of the future. I have been in a reactive state for most of my life, and this has left little room for dreaming. It is easy for me to support others’ visions and dreams, and I get excited to be a part of something bigger than myself. This is something that genuinely brings me joy, but I need to have plans and dreams of my own to be working towards. This could be as simple as booking trips to go on or ultimately digging deeper to find my true purpose in life (woof that is a big one). But for now my focus is on planning things to look forward to that will get me out of the hamster wheel that is everyday life.
Wish me luck–I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
Feelings this week: excited to have direction with my updated goals.
Favorite moment from experience: being met where I am at by clients and friends and taking comfort in the fact that we are not alone.
Something I am currently loving: sitting in my kitchen looking out the window as I write this with my cat asleep in my lap (an ordinary moment that brings me joy).
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