Moms rarely put themselves first. Regardless of the number of kids they have, sacrifices are made, and slowly their own desires–sleep, alone time, physical space, self-care, or even spending money on themselves–gets shoved to the very back burner.

Sound familiar?

It’s a constant hustle, which many of us are familiar with. Melinie, a mom of four and our latest member of the month at Charlotte-based Companion Health, can certainly relate.

“I’ve always pushed through because that’s what has always been expected of me,” Melinie says. 

It wasn’t until she hit a breaking point that she realized that her health had to be moved up on the priority list.

“Last year–it was around this time–everything was hard,” she recalls. “I was really exhausted. A lot of things had happened over the previous 3–7 years. I was to the point where I was not even functioning during the day. Basics like getting lunch and buying groceries were difficult to do.”

During that timeframe, Melinie had experienced a number of traumas:

• her family lost their home and possessions due to mold
• they were displaced from their home for 18 months
• Melinie had postpartum anxiety and depression
• she suffered from severe bleeding that led to a uterine ablation

“The layers of trauma and not having the space to heal before the next thing happened landed me in a place of survival mode,” says Melinie. All of her energy was put towards her children while her wellbeing, on the backburner, continued to suffer.

Finally, Melinie was able to get to a place where she could ask for help to heal. She found Dr. Carlos Jorge at Companion Health in Charlotte, NC. Little did she know, this would be a pivotal piece of her recovery.

In their first meeting, a 90-minute conversation, she was able to explain what had gone on in those recent years, as well as her full history dating back to when she was a child.

“Dr. Jorge was the first person who saw all of the pieces,” she recalls. “ It was the first time that I felt like someone really saw what I was going through.”

With Dr. Jorge’s guidance, Melinie could bring the focus back to herself.

Although Melinie has a degree in Dietetics & Nutrition and thus knows how to eat well,things health-wise had negatively compounded for so long that she couldn’t even find the bandwidth to do so. 

Taking all of this into consideration, Dr. Jorge created a long-term plan that would be carried out slowly. 

“Dr. Jorge explained that if we did everything at once, we wouldn’t be able to tell what worked, and it also wouldn’t be what my body needed at that time.” 

First up in Dr. Jorge’s plan was lowering her inflammation, which was stemming from suboptimal gut health and mold issues. While he suspected hormonal imbalances were at play as well, they needed to first get her inflammation under control.

“Many times clients want to treat hormonal issues by just looking at levels/numbers and symptoms, but these are not going to show up accurately if some of the drivers – gut health, other drivers of inflammation – are not addressed first,” says Dr. Jorge. 

The plan for Melinie included not only regular visits with Dr. Jorge and her health coach, but also consistent efforts on her part, including engaging in therapy and prioritizing laid-out lifestyle adjustments. 

The process felt painstakingly slow to Melinie. After all, she was used to approaching life by tackling initiatives quickly. But looking back, she is able to see all of these transformative changes:

• Grocery shopping transformed from impossible to manageable.
• Regular meals replaced skipped lunches.
• Hydration and quality sleep topped her priority list.
• Self-care without guilt became her new normal.

Melinie discovered she could achieve what once seemed impossible: being both the mom she wanted to be AND showing up fully for herself.

“Society is not set up for moms to prioritize themselves,” she says. “I had to unpack a lot of things and see taking care of myself as not being selfish.”

“All of the steps have been about adjusting my expectations,” she continues. “It’s been learning compassion for myself and realizing that some things may not happen. And actually, changing my expectations has made me more successful. Once I got the breathing space, I changed my self–judgement, which gave me the space to move forward. This meant progress vs being stuck in the over–achieving space.”

Over the last year, Melinie has significantly improved her gut-health and mold-toxicity. She’s lowered inflammation, improved her sleep, hydration and nutrition and much more. Now it’s time to tackle her hormones. 

“I’m looking forward to the support with peri–menopause and menopause and what I want that to look like for myself,” she says. “This is such a significant transition in life and I’m very grateful to have the right people in my life who can support and guide me in this.”

“It’s taken multiple things to get to this place,” she concludes. “I had to be invested in it, but I couldn’t do that until I had the energy to actually care. Instead of adding things to my plate, I invested more time in myself. All of it needed to move together.”